


That's rough, buddy.

by Werepirechick



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2012), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Platonic Relationships, Post-Betrayal, also sad feelings, april betraying them, because that's what this was really, my poor kids, post The Power Inside Her, soft feelings everywhere, they can't catch a break
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-28
Updated: 2016-11-28
Packaged: 2018-09-02 19:22:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8680366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Werepirechick/pseuds/Werepirechick
Summary: Casey isn't exactly 'okay' after witnessing one of his best friends go power mad.Donnie is, obviously speaking, even less 'okay'.Being less than 'okay' is easier when its together.





	

**Author's Note:**

> You cannot tell me they were okay after Dark!April happened.
> 
> (related note: to anyone who is also a former Homestuck fan here, do you agree that Donnie<>Casey would be good yes or no)

 

 

Shortly after April had slunk away in shame, remorse and embarrassment in every step; Casey noticed that someone else had left their group.

He did a quick tally of the remaining members of their team; Raph, check, Leo, check, Mikey, check, Donnie…

Donnie wasn’t anywhere to be seen.

Casey looked around the turtles’ living room, searching for the wayward genius. Donnie wasn’t in the room, but the doors to his lab were opened slightly.

There was light coming through the crack, whereas it’d been dark earlier.

Casey glanced at Raph nearby, but his friend wasn’t paying any attention to him; too focused on the television and massaging a couple strained muscles.

It felt that was the theme tonight; people ignoring Casey’s presence. Or rather, just not noticing him.

He quietly pulled himself off the couch, and left the media pit. None of the remaining brothers noticed him leave; Mikey already conked out on the couch and Leo starting to fade. Raph, despite sitting close by to Casey, didn’t even twitch.

Casey grimaced to himself, and crept away.

Approaching the lab doorway, Casey widened the opening enough to peek in. Donnie was inside, shell to the door, and fussing with a collection of broken looking electronics.

Oh yeah. The brain helmet thingy. The one Donnie had made to examine April’s powers back on the farm.

Casey got an idea of what had triggered the events tonight, and of what Donnie was probably thinking at the moment.

Suddenly, Donnie viciously threw the piece of scrap he was holding; the twisted bit of metal clattering to the floor ten feet away.

Casey jumped as Donnie slammed his fists on the table, the remaining scrap scattering across it.

Donnie’s arms started shaking, and he ducked his head.

Maybe now was a good time to interrupt.

“Hey, Donnie?”

Donnie’s head whipped up, and he spun around to face Casey. A split second after, he rubbed a hand across his face; erasing suspicious wetness. “O-oh, Casey. Didn’t see you there.”

Casey snorted, slipping into the lab and closing the doors behind him. “Yeah, that’s kind of a thing tonight. You okay?”

“I’m fine.” Donnie said, turning away from Casey again. “I just… I just need some alone time.”

Casey looked around the lab; still a huge mess from what he was assuming had been April’s power explosion. He focused in on the remnants of the helmet, lying where Donnie had thrown it. “I don’t think that’s such a good idea. Being alone is probably not the best thing for you right now.”

Donnie scoffed, already starting to fuss again with the broken bits of technology on his table. “You don’t know what’s good for me or not. Just go away Casey; I don’t want company at the moment. I’m fine on my own.”

“Dee… you fuckin’ _died_ tonight,” Casey said, noticing how Donnie flinched ever so slightly at that. “There’s no way you’re ‘fine’.”

“Go away, Casey,” Donnie said again. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“I saw her do it too. I mean, one second you were there-” Casey balled his fists, recalling the moment April had disintegrated Donnie in midair. “-and the next you were gone. Dude, I thought you weren’t coming back.”

“Leave me alone.”

“Donnie, you can’t tell you’re okay after that happening-”

“ _I said I don’t want to talk about it!”_ Donnie shouted.

Casey paused, watching how Donnie’s shoulder curled inwards, and his overall posture became defensive. “I know you don’t, but… I think you have to talk about it.”

Casey waited for Donnie’s response, the long seconds ticking by until Donnie’s shoulders slumped, and he leaned heavily on the table. “It’s just… I… you guys didn’t hear it, but I asked her, right before she- she disintegrated my molecules… I asked her to stop. I asked her to give me the crystal, and to let me help her, and she- she just-”

Donnie sucked in a shuddering breath, and Casey watched him grip the table’s edge so hard it creaked.

“She said ‘ _sorry’_ to me, _‘I’m sorry’,_ and then she…” Donnie shook his head, shoulders shaking. Casey didn’t say anything as Donnie turned to look at him, and the hollow, broken-hearted look in his eyes conveyed exactly how much pain Donnie was in.

“She… she was in control up to that moment,” Donnie said, voice wavering. “But she still… Casey, she killed me anyways. Do I…” His voice cracked. “Do I really matter that little to her?”

Casey swallowed thickly, his eyes stinging.

The last part hit close to home for him too.

“Donnie…” Casey stepped over the debree scattered around the room, and walked towards his friend. “I… I’m not sure what to say to that.”

Donnie pulled his mask off, hanging it on his neck, and scrubbed at his eye sockets. He chuckled humorlessly. “There’s not really much you _could_ say.”

“Well…” Casey gestured vaguely, shrugging helplessly. “I could say… I’m here for you?”

Donnie croaked a chuckle again, before muttering _“Oh god.”_ , and visibly collapsing on himself.

Casey wasn’t sure who initiated it, or who moved first, but he ended up wrapping his arms around Donnie.

Donnie’s own arms wrapped around Casey, and held tight.

They stayed like that for a long time.

 

 

 

 

At some point, later on, they ended up leaning against the wall and sitting on the lab floor.

“You know…” Donnie said quietly, leaning his back against the cold wall. “It hurt. A lot. Not just her… discarding me like that, but… can you imagine it? The sensation of being pulled apart on a molecular level? It only took a second, but… it felt like every nerve in my body was stabbed into an electrical socket. And then, I was just… gone.”

“Looked pretty fucking terrifying from the outside too,” Casey commented, picking at a stray thread on his jeans. His black eye was stinging again, the soothing numb from an ice pack earlier wearing off. Everything was starting to hurt again actually; bumps and bruises from his scuffle against the Foot, plus the ones from fighting April.

If you could count as that. He hadn’t even made a mark on her, but she’d tossed him around like a rag doll.

She hadn’t even been looking at him while she did that.

“I don’t… I don’t know if I trust April with those powers anymore,” Casey said, pulling free the loose thread and flicking it away.

Donnie sighed. “I don’t know either. She came back, but…”

“She chose power over us both, Donnie. Over all of us. I dunno how I feel about that.”

“I can relate,” Donnie said grimly.

A long pause of silence, the both of them stewing in their own thoughts.

“Hey Don…”

“What?”

“At least… at least she cared enough about you to get rid of you.”

“Excuse me?” Donnie sat up, giving Casey a confused and vaguely offended look. “How is her _killing me_ a positive thing?”

“No, no that’s not what I meant,” Casey defended, trying to figure out how to express himself better. “It’s just…”

“Just what?”

"At least she actually acknowledged you," Casey said bitterly, remembering how April had glided past without even seeing him. "She didn't even _look_ at me."

Donnie’s offense evaporated, turning into sympathy. “Oh. Oh Casey…”

Casey looked away, feeling uncomfortable suddenly. “I know I don’t matter as much as you guys, and I get that I really do, but… I care about her, and she just. _ignored_ me. Didn’t even bother trying to kill me, even though I got in her way, like, twice at least.”

Donnie’s hand gently landed on Casey’s shoulder, and for once, he didn’t shrug the touch off.

“I’m sorry, Casey.”

“You and me both,” Casey mumbled, drawing his knees close and leaning on them.

After everything they’d been through, him and April; and she hadn’t even seen him. Like he didn’t exist to her, didn’t matter at all.

It hurt more than he would have thought.

Maybe he didn’t feel as strongly as Donnie, but… April was important to Casey. She was his friend, one of the few people he genuinely loved to spend time with. And she’d just-

-ignored him.

“This is fucked up,” Casey muttered. Wanting your crush to have tried murdering you, just so you felt validated. What the actual fuck.

Donnie’s arm slid the rest of the way across Casey’s shoulders, and his friend gave him a one armed hug.

“I think we crossed the line for ‘fucked up’ a few months back.”

Casey snorted a laugh at Donnie’s dry tone. He raised his head, and gave his friend a wry grin. “And when did we do that exactly?”

Donnie hummed, pretending to look thoughtful. “I think around the time the earth was invaded by calamari? Or maybe before that. Maybe when you got eaten by a giant worm and didn’t die…”

“What about the rat king guy?” Casey asked, grinning wider.

“Or the alien salamander mercenary?” Donnie chuckled.

“Or the time Raph switched brains with a Kraang?”

“The chimera incident?”

“Oh! The fucking frog dudes!”

“The car mutant that possessed me?”

“Fricking _bigfoot?!”_

“Oh god don’t bring _that up_.”

Casey couldn’t reply again, too busy laughing. Donnie’s laughter was a bit creaky, evidence of his earlier breakdown, but… it was there, and that’s what was important.

Casey’s laughter died off slowly, followed by Donnie’s. Eventually, it was quiet in the lab again; the only sound coming from their soft breathing.

Donnie hadn’t removed his arm. Casey hadn’t moved away.

Casey wasn’t sure who needed the physical touch more.

“Today…” Casey sighed, thinking of the long trek home whenever he decided to leave. Alone. “Today was one of the few times I felt like I was in over my head. That was… this whole thing was nine kinds of fucked up. Maybe even more than when the earth got destroyed.”

“I always feel like I’m in over my head,” Donnie said in a tired voice. “Today was just especially bad.”

“How the hell am I supposed to look her in the face tomorrow?” Casey asked, knowing he didn’t need to specify which _‘her’_ he was talking about. “We can’t just. move on or whatever. Fuck me; I’ve got calculus with her in the morning. _Fuck._ ”

“If it’s any consolation, I’ve got training with April tomorrow night. I have no idea how I’m going to do that.”

“What, no night off?”

“Sensei’s been pushing us harder lately. Shredder’s given him a bad scare, and I have to agree,” Donnie said grimly. “If it hadn’t been for April that last time…”

Donnie trailed off, but he didn’t need to finish.

Casey rubbed at his eyes, minding the heavy bruising on the one side. There was that feeling again; being in over his head. Used to be a lot rarer, that feeling. It’d been showing up more and more lately. “This used to be a lot more fun.”

“I can relate to that,” Donnie sighed. “Everything was a lot simpler last year. Hell, even just back on the farm things were simpler.”

Casey recalled the long days spent waiting for Leo to wake up. Thinking about his family, his city, all the while trying to pretend it wasn’t pulling him down…

He’d spent a lot of time in the barn with Donnie. But it wasn’t until after Leo woke up, that he’d even tried to talk to Donnie with something other than hostility.

Why hadn’t he tried to be friendlier? Donnie’s brother had been in a coma, and his dad likely dead. And all Casey had done was needle him and belittle his interest in April.

“Why the fuck didn’t we try being friends sooner,” Casey asked, voicing his internal thoughts. Especially after tonight, watching Donnie just vanish like that, he’d realized how much he’d miss the guy if he really had… died.

Nothing like temporary death to get your perspective checked.

Donnie shrugged, the motion making his arm shift on Casey’s shoulders. “We didn’t like each other I guess. And there was the whole…”

“…fighting over April thing,” Casey finished. “So if it hadn’t been for that…”

Well. Wasn’t that a thought.

Too much thought for tonight. Casey was too wrung out for that kind of introspection.

“I think I’m done chasin’ after April,” Casey said, changing the topic to another thing that’d been weighing on his mind. “I mean. She definitely isn’t interested, so… not much point.” Still kind of hurt though. “How about you? You were the one who actually got… vaporized an’ stuff.”

“I…”

Casey looked over at Donnie, hearing the crack in his voice again.

Donnie looked stricken, his earlier grief surfacing once more. “I don’t know. I really don’t. Casey…” He glanced at Casey, genuine emotional turmoil flickering across his expression. “I love her. I can’t just stop loving her, even after this. But… I’m not sure if I can trust her anymore.”

Casey wasn’t entirely sure what to say to that, or how to react to Donnie’s confession.

It wasn’t like it’d been a secret, but hearing it said out loud…

And Donnie looked teary again. Shit.

Why was comforting people so difficult?

“You could always copy my plan,” Casey said quietly, and hopefully, in a sympathetic tone. “Just avoid her until further notice? I’m probably gonna skip calc’ tomorrow to do that.”

Donnie cracked a smile, even if his eyes were still a bit wet. “I’ve skipped training before, might as well add one more black mark to my record for that.”

“That’s the spirit. You could, uh…” Casey wavered for a moment, questioning if he should really say this. Eh, whatever. “You could come hang out with me…? I was thinkin’ of taking some time off from vigilante-ing for a bit. Try some tagging again. Haven’t been able to in a while.”

“Isn’t that a crime?” Donnie asked.

“Crime is subjective to perspective,” Casey quipped automatically.

That got a laugh out of Donnie, and chased off the remains of his sadness. “You know what? Sure. I don’t really feel like experiencing the most awkward training session in history anyways. Tagging unsuspecting buildings sounds great.”

Casey grinned. The only other person, or rather turtle, he’d shown his tagging to was Raph. His best buddy got it, the weird co-existence that was being a guy who loved fighting, but also art.

Casey had seen some of the blue prints Donnie could whip up, freehand and everything. Maybe their resident genius would get it too.

A part of Casey kinda wished he’d tried being friends with Donnie sooner. A part of him wished it hadn’t taken Donnie almost dying to figure that out.

Mostly, Casey wished tonight hadn’t ever happened, and the crystal had never entered their lives.

He figured Donnie shared his sentiments on at least one of those things.

"Hey Casey?"

"Yeah Donnie?"

"Thanks. For all of this."

"No problem, buddy. No problem."

 

 

 

 

Somewhere headed towards ungodly in the morning; Casey figured it was finally time to go home.

Raph, plus the other two brothers, had disappeared. The whole lair was empty, except for Donnie and Casey.

Casey grabbed his duffle bag off the couch, filled with his gear from earlier in the evening. He shrugged it over his shoulder, and turned to face Donnie.

Donnie’s mask still hung limply off his neck, and his eyes were a bit red, but overall, he seemed like he was feeling better. Anything was better than the brittle way he’d held himself when they’d first gotten home, or the soft broken edges his voice had had.

All in all, even Casey felt better.

Maybe the whole talking about feelings thing was actually helpful.

“You gonna be alright?” Casey asked, searching for any residual signs of distress in his friend.

Donnie shrugged, a wry smile finding its way onto his face. “Eh, I’ll be fine. Nothing that a good day’s sleep and some old fashioned memory repression won’t fix.”

Casey laughed once, but gave Donnie a serious look. “Really though. You gonna be alright?”

Donnie’s humor slid away, and his wry smile turned sad. “I’ll recover. I think that’s the best I can give you right now.”

Casey nodded.

Yeah. That sounded about right for things.

“Feel better dude, and see you tomorrow night?”

“Will do. My place or…?”

“Meet me at that water tower; don’t want to get caught up in shit over here.”

Donnie chuckled. “Sounds good. G’night, Casey.”

“Night Don, see you ‘round.”

Casey wandered out of the lair’s entrance, his sports equipment knocking against the turnstiles. He paused at the top, glancing over his shoulder.

Donnie was still standing in the open, watching him go.

Casey waved one hand.

Donnie waved back.

Casey smiled, and disappeared into the tunnels.

Not the best night, but… not the worst either.

Tomorrow would probably be better.

Casey found himself looking forwards to that. Hopefully, Donnie was too.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Where did the Donnie and Casey friendship go in canon. Why did it leave where has it gone. Bring it back.
> 
> If they make it seem like everything is okie-dokie in canon in the next episode I am going to SCREAM.  
> My kids are not alright. They are clearly and visibly not alright. Do not lie to me about this, Nick. Don't even try.
> 
> I want everyone to have trust issues. I want Donnie feeling betrayed and hurt. I want CASEY feeling betrayed and hurt.  
> Give them real emotions please Nick I'm b e g g i n g you.  
> (they probably won't but i CAN PRAY)
> 
> Subscribe to my profile/follow my tumblr for more soft Jonatello moments. (platonic and otherwise)


End file.
